Are you a celebrity who’s sexually harassed a bunch of populations and are now in need of an apologetic to subdue an indignant rabble? Look no further than the Celebrity Perv Apology Generator.
The desktop app packs all the usual a number of aspects of several recent non-apologies that have come up when other fellow perverts’ dark pasts have come to lighting. In what might be described as a more honest approach, you’ll get the dodge, blame others or suggest how normal this is, as in only “locker room talk, ” say you feel bad without acknowledging anything and a nice tie-up to help you escape the blame all in one easy-to-read paragraph.
Take this randomly produced apology, for example 😛 TAGEND
As someone who grew up in a different era, I seem tremendously guilty now that the things I did ought to have made publicly available. I was intoxicated at the time, and of course now I recognise my behavior was incorrect. In opinion, I will not change anything about my acts or behavior.
Another good one 😛 TAGEND
As the father-god of daughters, harassment is completely unacceptable — specially where individuals find out about it. It was simply boys locker chamber talk, and of course now I recognise my behavior was wrong. In opinion, I will wait 2-3 years before reappearing in cinema and TV and just sort of hope you all forget about this.
It seems we hear daily now of men in prominent stances who have been caught. In only the last week Al Franken, Charlie Rose and Glenn Thrush have joined a developing list of men who’ve been accused of perpetrating awful acts of sexual harassment.
While some humankinds do seem to be sincerely sorrowfulness over their actions, many others turn time and again to these hollow and so-called apology tactics. Now you don’t even have to think up for yourself how to give one of these non-apologies. You’ll have one at the ready — when your time surely comes — to feign like there’s good-for-nothing incorrect with what the hell are you did to the people who looked up to you, trusted you and relied on you for associates, vocations and livelihoods.